Hello Guys... I got something here just for you, that just might get that brains of yours at refreshing moment, ok, butta well you gotta do alot of reading guys, well afterall reading makes you more experience, rather then you experience it yourself, huh?? lolz. Well ok lets get started ok...
Here is something that you might get yourself energies
Jokes
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
*The Suffe-Ring
*The Endu-Ring
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Answers & Questions
Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A: He's all right now.
Q: Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A: He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: "Dam".
Q: What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
A: National Dyslexics Association.
Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat up?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.
Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it's worth it.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Top 10 reasons a computers must be male:
1. Size does matter.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The busdriver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right," she said.
"I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man said.
"Here, let me hold your monkey."
Indonesian Jokes
Ada suami istri...
Tengah malem suaminya teriak bangunin istrinya ,
Suami: "honey.. bangun...gue dapet berkah nih....Das ist ein Wunder"
Istri: "ehm apanya??"
Suami: "Tadi gue ke wc waktu buka pintu lampunya langsung hidup...
padahal gue belum cetekin apa?..pertama sih gue cuek aje...
E.. waktu gue udah selesai kencing mo keluar ,gue tutup pintu e..
lampunya mati sendiri..gila..besok gue mesti beli lotere.. sapa
tau itu jalan menuju kaya.."
Si Istri loncat dari tempat tidur sambil ngomong..."Gila..lu...hon... lue kencing di kulkas lagi ya.."
Pengemis : Pak! Kasihani saya, saya orang bisu.
Bapak : Lho? Orang bisu kok bisa berbicara?
Pengemis : Eh, salah! Orang tuli, Pak!
Bapak : Kok bisa mendengar?
Pengemis : Eh, bukan! Orang buta, Pak!
Bapak : (Sambil mengeluarkan uang receh)Tidak ada duit!!
Pengemis : Itu ada ratusan tiga, Pak!
Bapak : Katanya buta, kok bisa melihat?
Pengemis : Salah lagi. Orang gila, Pak!!
Suatu hari ada seorang bapak sedang makan nasi bebek di sebuah warung di suatu daerah di kota Surabaya. Tapi, ketika dia sedang asyik - asyiknya makan, di dekat tempat dia makan ada orang sedang buang air kecil alias kencing. Dan orang tersebut adalah baru datang dari pulau Madura. Setelah si bapak tadi tahu kalau didekatnya ada orng kencing, dia langsung menegur ( sambil marah ).
Dan terjadilah dialog sebagai berikut :
Bapak : "Hei, kamu kok kencing di sini!!! Sana, agak jauhan sedikit, dong...khan di sini dekat orang makan!!!!!
Orang tersebut setelah mendengar teriakan bapak tadi lalu dengan seenaknya menjawab :
"Pak, bapak ini gimana sih, masak saya sudah jauh - jauh kencing dari Madura ke Surabaya, kok disuruh lebih jauh lagi??? Apa saya mesti kencing di Jakarta? Yang bener Pak.
Lalu si Bapak setelah mendengar jawaban dengan nada polos dari orang tersebut hanya bisa geleng - geleng kepala.
Suatu hari, seorang preman mendekati 4 org pemuda yang sedang duduk2 di sebuah warung. Preman itu bermaksud untuk meminta uang kepada ke4 pemuda itu...
Ia menggertak : "Hei! Siapa di antara kalian yang berani?!"
Lalu pemuda I berdiri dan berkata : "Saya!"
Kemudian Preman itu berkata lagi : "Ayo! Siapa lagi yang berani!"
Pemuda II dan III berdiri pula dan berkata : "Kami"
Si Preman menjadi gentar. Lalu ia berkata kepada pemuda IV : "Bagaimana denganmu?" Pemuda IV pun berdiri dan bekata : "Saya juga berani!"
Karena saking takutnya, akhirnya preman itu berkata : "Kalau begitu, kita adalah 5 orang pemuda pemberani!!!".
Ibu Guru : "Topan, kalau kamu punya enam potong coklat dan ibu meminta tiga potong, berapa sisanya ?"
Topan : "Enam, Bu Guru!"
Ibu Guru : "Salah, Topan. Yang betul tiga !
Topan : "Tidak, Bu Guru. Tetap enam. Soalnya saya tidak akan memberi- kannya!"
Motivational StoryLesson Number 1
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number 2
A turkey was chatting with a bull in a Paltalk in room call Animals Groups.
And the turkey was talking to a bull and it goes like this
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with Nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the Tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number 3 When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.
So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart
and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile
of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lesson
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
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